Deepening Doubts
by Whisperwill
Summary: "Apprentice" vignette.  First Starfire, then Robin, thinks dark thoughts and gives in to what may be the worst emotion of all: doubt.  Based on the two's dialogue at the end of the episode.
1. I Doubted You

**Disclaimer: *Sigh*...no...I don't own _Teen Titans_. *Huger sigh*...no...I'm not making money with this little story.**

**A/N: Originally completed on June 19, 2010. I always tell anyone who'll listen that "Apprentice" was not only my favorite episode of _Teen Titans_ ever-it was also one of my favorite episodes of _anything_ I've watched. Nothing could compare to the adrenaline rush when the viewer realized that Slade had Robin trapped beyond negotiation. IT WAS AWESOME!**

**I Doubted You**

"Lies!" Starfire had shouted in her friend's defense. "Nothing could ever make him betray us!" she had cried vehemently. But in the hidden reaches of her heart, she was not so full of conviction as she seemed. Raven's calm conclusion of the fact that the Teen Titans' leader was now a criminal had torn at Starfire inside. It tore at her because she was beginning to believe that Raven was right.

How could it be true? Yet how could it _not_ be? Starfire was at a loss to declare Robin's innocence, at least to herself. It was true that he had stolen before. Starfire wanted to believe that this was like the time before, when Robin had masqueraded as the Red X, a thief who was dangerously adept at his work. Red X had stolen thrice, and when Starfire had discovered that Red X and Robin were one and the same, she had almost lost faith in her leader. Robin, however, had been quick to assure her, and all of them, that the disguise was something he had to pull off convincingly, right down to looting and picking battles with his friends. He did it, he argued, to catch Slade. Although Starfire's trust in him had been shaken then, she had come to accept his decision as right—because Robin always fought for truth and justice, and never let anything get in the way of his being a hero.

If only it could be that way now. If only she could believe that Robin had infiltrated Slade's inner defenses, and was even now spying on Slade, working to save them all. But when Starfire recalled the night when he'd appeared through the darkness, crouched so defensively . . . wearing a suit just like their enemy wore . . . bearing Slade's symbol proudly over his heart . . . gripping his prize protectively . . . with no emotion on his face except a faint rancor . . . all her certainties regarding him were gone in an instant. Even then she had been willing to disregard the suspicious appearances and believe the best about him—but that was before he attacked. Without the slightest hesitation, he had thrown a bomb at Starfire—she who had been trying to discover what was wrong with him and make peace. And then he had vanished into the smoke.

Robin looked like Slade. He acted like Slade. And he had no air of reluctance about him—nothing to make Starfire believe that he was a double agent. Was the Robin they all knew and loved gone? Was there nothing left of the brave, selfless superhero? Starfire wanted to uphold hope, like a candle in the night. But the trouble was, she didn't know what to believe anymore.

—The End—


	2. I Doubted Myself

**I Doubted Myself**

Robin sat bent over with his elbows on his knees. He was fuming inside. Slade had enfolded him into a trap in which there was a snare every way he turned. Robin had always been in control. He had been the fearless leader of the Teen Titans, the heroes on patrol who kept the bad guys on the run. And Robin had never shied away when there was a job to do. He had constantly pushed onward to achieve whatever needed to be achieved. And he had always succeeded. He and the Titans would kick butt, save the day, and be back at the Tower in time for a movie—or, if they were lucky, a double feature.

Now his friends were gone, his home was gone, his _control_ was gone. Everything that was familiar had been washed away in a terrible storm, and all that was left when the rains had abated was a false, uncertain calm. Robin was standing in the eye of a hurricane.

A different kind of eye approached—the only part of Slade that was visible from the shadows. Slade was headed straight for him. The hurricane was getting closer.

_Let him come_, Robin thought vengefully. He was hungry for another battle. Slade never minded when his apprentice started a fight. Grinding his teeth, Robin balled his hands into fists. He couldn't wait to punch the man's face in. He could see it in his mind's eye—the mask cracking beneath his knuckles, Slade crying out in pain, drops of blood flying as Robin laughed exultantly—

No. Wait. Beating someone to a pulp just to enjoy it was what _villains_ did. Robin was better than that. Wasn't he? He was a _hero_. A hero who had been coerced into doing illegal things, sure, but still a hero. He didn't get any enjoyment out of stealing, or fighting the Titans, or taking a beating while training, and turning the tables and pounding Slade into the floor. . .

Except he _did_ enjoy that. In fact, there was nothing he enjoyed more than attacking Slade while they were sparring, letting loose with everything he had and not holding back, aiming to wound, cripple, kill. . .

Robin forced himself to look at his lap and not watch Slade coming nearer. He was better than Slade! They were nothing alike, and they never _would_ be! He gripped his hair with both hands until it hurt.

Despite all his reasonable rationalizations, doubt rose above and ruled his heart. He didn't trust himself anymore.

—The End—


End file.
